Can Purell be used as lube?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
