I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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