she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
