Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
