I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
