Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just found puke in my bra..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
