i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
