We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
