my mouth tastes like poor choices
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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