Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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