The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I checked into jail on foursquare
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
