If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
