just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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