dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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