if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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