my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
