Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it's like iHOP with fire
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
