Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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