JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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