This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
