sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
