your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
