I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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