So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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