Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
