physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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