Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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