OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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