I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
