I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You're a waste of cheezeits
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
