carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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