do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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