its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
