ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
