Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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