Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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