Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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