Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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