I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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