I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
how drunk are you?
Several
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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