By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Come on in and take your pants off
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
