Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
