i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wish they made helmets for livers.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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