You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
