girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
