Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
