in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
