cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
