Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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