Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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