Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
